Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Pigeon Porn - Part 1

I have been nagged/bullied/badgered/bribed to spill this story by the lovely SAHM loving it Mama Makes and Inside the Wendy House as I alluded a few weeks ago to this awful incident happening to me.

I am going to have to tell you this in two parts as you need to understand my paranoia before you hear the story............

Let me explain..................

Firstly, I am scared of birds.  Specifically pigeons and I blame this on my parents who took me to Trafalgar Square when I was around 4 to feed them.  This is actually my earliest memory and it still sets my teeth on edge.  We arrived at Trafalgar Square and after buying our seed cartons from the cart vendor, I stood as still as a statue with a pot in each hand, arms held out. 

Within a few seconds I had a pigeon on the end of my hand.  I remember feeling happy and for the next few seconds I was at one with the bird whilst my parents looked on.   

What happened next has stayed with me and no doubt will do so for the rest of my life - I was attacked/swamped/bombarded by what felt like thousands of pigeons.....they came from all directions, were on my head and naturally I tried to run.  I stumbled over and consequently spilt bird seed all over myself...the birds were then all over me from head to toe as my parents looked on laughing. 

It took a few minutes (probably only a few seconds in reality) before my lovely mum realised I was frozen in shock, I had wet myself in terror and was by now sobbing, great, big, gut wrenching sobs.......

My parents shooed the birds away and picked me up - a gibbering, sobbing wreck and with a lifelong fear of pigeons..........

So, you can imagine how I felt when a pigeon came on my face/hairline.  You'll have to wait for that instalment tomorrow as I am going for a lie down, just writing this has freaked me out.....

Love

S.A.M xx

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