Welcome back for part 2 of #pigeonporn (I can't believe it now has it's own hashtag on twitter!)
Anyway, I tried to convince my real life friend Chocorange to blog this instalment of #pigeonporn on my behalf, as she knew about it at the time (2008 in case you were wondering and yes it still traumatises me!) but she declined with a very eloquently put "no way, that is still the most gross thing i have ever heard" so dear readers, it has fallen to me to recount my "experience". Stop sniggering at the back please ;-)
If you missed part 1 yesterday, have a look here to understand not only my disgust at what I am about to recount, but at how this has freaked me out. They say blogging can be therapeutic and I really hope that by sharing this blog I can also learn to laugh about it!!!
First of all, let me set the scene...It's a beautiful Spring day and I am taking the kids to school, we have a lovely walk through the park and for the last few days we have seen two pigeons cooing away in a tree. This particular day they are on the lower branches and performing some sort of ritualistic dance.
We stop to watch them and I almost find them endearing as they fluff each others feathers and walk up and down the branch. They then have a sort of kiss and before you can say "Pigeonporn" the male has hopped onto the females back and is flapping away.
The motion of the "lurve" ocean is obviously a bit too tricky for our lovebirds on the narrow branch as they then fall off, it must have been at the point of no return as the next thing I know I have a clear blob of pigeon sperm on my face..............
GROSS.........................
It happened in slow motion ( I swear I saw it falling from the sky) and I instantly start freaking out BIG TIME, flapping my arms and screeching (not unlike a pigeon) much to the delight of the boys I hasten to add, However, I can't explain to them what has happened as a 4 and 2 year old are just not going to comprehend:
"Don't worry darlings, a pigeon just came in mummys face" .
You will be pleased to hear I am smiling. Just.
Peace and Love
S.A.M xx
No comments:
Post a Comment