TWTYTW - That was the year that was....2010

Gorgeous people, it's that time of year when everyone starts making resolutions, when we look back on the year that was and the year that will/could be.  It's a time of hope, reconciliation and looking forward and making amends.  In celebration of this and in light of the fact I never keep a resolution, I have decided to look back on the year. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, my TWTYTW - 2010.

• I finally (!) embraced social media and love it, I was even shortlisted as the Fresh voice in blogging 2010, please vote humbled to be nominated!
• I won a car (still not got it yet for those of you who keep asking)
• My Beau Bo started "Big School" and I wept at the gates (with joy, freedom beckoned!)
• I started my own business and was in profit a month after launching
• I learnt to say "no" to people rather than being a people pleaser.
• I de-friended people who I hadn't spoken to in the last year.
• I learnt to accept that my husband is who he is and he won't change (nor can I make him change)
• I accepted that I am a control freak (although I am working on that one)
• I learnt to count to 10 in Japanese
• I realised that the grass isn't always greener on the other side
• Pixie started talking (she hasn't stopped since)
• Beansey Boy had trials and was accepted to a v.good football team
• The Rugby Club got a £5k donation thanks to the competition I was in to win a car
• Not everyone is what or who they seem
• I realised that not everyone is what or who they seem.

On a scale of 10, my year was a 7.  Could have been better but all in all a good year.

If you enjoyed this post, please add your linky below so we can celebrate what we have all achieved!! 

Happy New Year Everyone xx

 

Win a beautiful bespoke necklace or bracelet of your choice!

December is the busiest month in my work calendar and  I attend many events in the hope of drumming up new business.  The days are long and often cold and regardless of where you are, you will always build up a camaraderie with other exhibitors, often minding each others stalls whilst you pop to the loo or grab a bite to eat.

At one such event, I had the pleasure of being next to the lovely Beatrice  from Merci Maman.   Beatrice set the business up in 2007 with the aim of creating charming, unique and personalised gifts for the entire family.  I was particularly struck by the expert craftsmanship and passion that Beatrice has for her business.  I was enthralled by the beautiful charm bracelets and necklaces presented on a simple waxed cotton braid in the colour of your choice.    The clincher for me, was the fact you could inscribe what you like!

Rather than go for the obvious, I decided to have the children's nicknames inscribed onto the heart shaped discs (you can personalise this further as lots of different shapes available). 

A few days after my order was placed, the lariat arrived in a beautiful presentation box and I immediately loved the simplicity and charm of the necklace.  The fact that their personalised charm bracelets are hand engraved adds to the uniqueness and I have already had lots of compliments. 

If you would like to win a personalised bracelet or necklace (you choose) please do the following:

1) Follow my blog and tell me what "Merci Maman" means in English

2) Go on over to the Merci Maman website and tell me what your favourite item is.

3) Please make sure you follow @superamazingmum and @mercimamangifts on twitter

Please leave me a comment below to tell me what you have done and how best to contact you if you win!

For one extra entry you can tweet: #Win personalised jewellery with @superamazingmum and @mercimamangifts RT and follow to enter

Please, one entry per person

If you win, you must respond within 24 hours otherwise we will have to choose another winner

UK Only

Ends Monday 10th of January

Bon Chance!!

What EVERY couple should do in the lead up to Christmas

It's 530am and my beloved woke me up about an hour ago with his snoring.  This happens frequently as I am such a light sleeper and recently have been suffering from insomnia.  I couldn't get back to sleep, so have decided to blog about a lovely tradition we have when he is not quite so annoying!!

Him at Work (formerly known as Him Indoors) and I have been together 10 years.  We have 3 adorable children aged 7,4 and 2 who are amazing but like most kids that age, very demanding.  This year I set up my own business after being made redundant and although the business is going phenomenally well if you are interested it is the hardest I have worked in my life trying to balance the home/work life and learning to try and switch off.   I was in the fortunate position last week of paying myself for the first time, an amount that I used to earn every month and fritter away on frivolities,fancies and long haul holidays.  Nowadays, it is a huge amount of money and I was super excited and proud of myself to be in that position.  It was time to shop!

Every year, HAW and I go into London for a day of shopping that always ends in cocktails at Harvey Nicks and dinner somewhere lovely.  This year, I wasn't sure we would even make it into London due to the snow but nevertheless, we were going to give it our best shot. 

Sadly, we didn't get as far as London, but after a long walk in the snow, two buses, an argument outside the train station as to where we were going to go, we finally decided on Wimbledon.  I was so disappointed as being a mere 5 miles away from us, I often venture into Wimbledon and being a traditionalist, it didn't feel quite right. 

Naturally, by this point, after a ridiculously long journey, all we could think about was food, and so headed for our usual french restaurant for a bowl of warming onion soup and some moules.  The gods must have been against us, for the restaurant was shut due to a gas explosion and so we found ourselves in a little Thai tucked away between a gastropub and aveda.   We had an amazing lunch, the food was wonderful and the wine was even better. 

We then ventured onto the high street, a bit giddy and giggly after our boozy lunch and after about 20 minutes (I) decided that it was far to crowded and that we were better of drinking cocktails.

We then spent a lovely afternoon sampling the cocktail menu of an ok-ish cocktail bar.  Harvey Nicks it wasn't but we had the best afternoon ever, full of laughs and giggles and it made me realise that we don't spend enough quality time together and that it really doesn't matter where we are, we just need to make the time for each other more often.

So lovely people of the world, remember, Cocktail bars and husbands are for life, not just for Christmas!

If you have enjoyed this, please take the time to vote for me here Brilliance in Blogging 2010 - Fresh Voice Finalist

Peace and Goodwill to All - Happy Christmas xxx

My first ever....Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday

Dear So and So............

Dear Snow,

I usually love you, waking up to that almost hazy purplish light, that can only mean one thing - it's snowed!

For most of my childhood, we used to get a scattering, light yet magical flakes, that if we were really lucky meant we could get out our old wooden red sledge and enjoy the frolics for hours on end.

The last few years you didn't disappoint, we struggled up to Scotland and had a magical Christmas with the extended family, we had a wonderful time in February and I almost LOVE the anarchy that reduces our great nation from a matriarch to a pathetic whimpering child.  Days off school and work an added bonus.

This year though it's different, you have cost me money sNOw joke and now you look set to spoil my Christmas as trying to be organised, I ordered the majority of my kids presents online.  Around 15% have turned up - courier companies can't give me answers.  I can't afford to buy back up presents "just in case".

I have been with him indoors for 10 years.  Every year at Christmas we always go into London  for present shopping and cocktails at Harvey Nicks.  This has become ever more special since we have had the kids, as it is a day in the busy build up to Christmas when we can have some much needed quality time together.  I seriously think we won't make it into London tomorrow due to no trains.

So Dear Snow, please do us all a favour and melt away (at least until Christmas Morning, I always wanted a white Christmas).

Yours in good faith

Superamazing Mum xx

PS If you would like to find out more about "Dear So and So" have a peek at this wonderful blog 3 Bedroom Bungalow

"I'm NEVER speaking to you again"

so said Beansy aged 7 this morning.  "You are the WORST mum in the World and I don't want to be in your family". 

Good morning to you as well my darling boy.  You may well wonder what on earth is going on, in the season of goodwill and all that.  Well let's rewind and I'll explain.

Beansy Boy is 7, a gorgeously scruffy boy who lights up my World, but by heck is he messy.  Every morning we go through the same scenario, which goes something like this:

Me "Kids, shoes and coats on, time to go"

Kids: "OK Mum"

This usually takes about 3 shouts from me and then just as we are ready to go, Beansy will wail "Mum, where are my shoes/book bag/hat/coat/scarf/gloves/homework".  Delete as appropriate.  Every single day is the same, despite me saying every day when we get back from school to put his things IN THE SAME PLACE.  His 4 year old brother can manage, his 2 year old sister pretty much manages, but Beansy......well, he just can't seem to get organised. 

Back to this morning, Beansy can't find his left shoe, we are close to being late and I have had enough.  I make him put his trainers on, write a letter to his teacher explaining the situation and off we go.  He is crying, no wailing all the way about "how he is going to get into trouble", "how I am the WORST mum - EVER".

I explained to the teacher on the gate that he needs to learn and I hope that the shame of wearing his trainers will make him more organised.  He was sniffling away as I gave him a hug and told him I loved him and to have a good day.

So, did I do the right thing???

Shortlisted for the fresh voice of 2010, Brilliance in Blogging!

Well, what can I say?  

For the last week or so, I have really been struggling with my blog.  I felt that compared to established bloggers, my blog just wasn't getting heard/good enough/looked pants/amusing(delete as appropriate).  However, two things have happened this week that make me think, that maybe, just maybe, I may be mildly amusing/informative/being heard.

I feel I must tell you all about my reasons to blog, I was a finalist in a national competition to win a car and was asked to blog/tweet in the final stages.  I was absolutely against this as reckoned that blogging/tweeting was  for people who didn't have a life or a personality and who hid behind an online persona.  My 7 year old had given me the alias "superamazingmum" and so thinking I would only blog/tweet for the duration of the competition, I was happy to use this name.  Well 3 months later, the competition is over (we won the car, Yipee) and I am still here.  I am hooked!!

Last week I went to the BMB Christmas Lunch, I was made to feel so welcome and had a thoroughly lovely time meeting people whom I had tweeted with and read about on their blogs.   I was gobsmacked that Christmas through the years = Part 1 was chosen to be read out at the lunch, but mortified that I had forgotten to bring it with me.   

Then, this afternoon I found out that my blog was shortlisted  Fresh Voice of 2010 - Brilliance in Blogging and my jaw literally hit the floor.  I am in a very strong category with other people who have the most visually amazing blogs with beautiful content.  I rather feel like the scruffy cousin in comparison.

My blog isn't about anything specific, I don't have a speciality, I ramble about anything and everything.  It's not eloquent or hysterically funny or even informative.  However, it seems that the scruffy cousin may just have a voice after all!!!

Thank you so much to everyone who voted for me and if you haven't and think I am worthy, please do so here Vote for Me!

Wii...for one it's for ME,ME,ME....

I don't know about you, but having a house for of boys (and yes I am including the husband in that) I find myself constantly sorting out arguments between Beansy aged 7 and Beau Bo aged 4 who are constantly squabbling about who did what and who won what on the Wii.

We have only had it for a year, whereby under duress, the husband convinced me it would be a "good idea".  You would think that after 10 years of marriage I would know that his "good ideas" are usually crap and his way of trying to get his own way.  Anyway, I digress.

La\st year we got a Wii - It has become the bane of my life and I now resort to saying that a Wii is only for "Wii-kends".  I can still get away with that, mean Mummy that I am. 

Anyway, I suffer the weekend squabbling, the constant "can we play on Wii" and physical meltdowns when I turn it off (and that's just the Husband) as I know that it's only an hour here and there.

If you had told me I would get excited about the Wii, (let along blogged about it) I would have laughed, manically at you and asked you if you were feeling ok.

However, I recently read  This is THRILLER....... on the wonderful frugal family blog and my heart quite literally stopped.  You see, I LOVE MJ, not in a maniacal fan sort of way, but as a child of the 80s I grew up listening to Michael Jackson and still absolutely love his early stuff.    I am also one of those embarrassing drunks who thinks she can moonwalk.  Oh yes, I bust a gut quite literally trying out the moves, but still keep on trying. 

On further investigation, I see that Robbie Williams sings Wii......

All of a sudden and quite unsurprisingly to all who know me, the Wii gets interesting.....

To Be Continued.......

Why Snow is NOT good for small Businesses

I have always LOVED the snow, it has a magical quality that makes everyone smile when the first flutters fall.  "It's snowing, it's snowing" resounds throughout the Country and we all plan sledging expeditions and snowman building followed by lashings of hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows.

So far, so lovely.

An added bonus of heavy snow in years gone by was the added excitement of a "snow day" either at school or in the office.  This was always an unexpected treat and in later life as I worked for large TV channels, I would always try my best to get in, one day even riding in the cab of the train driver.  I was the only one who made it into work that day.   This ethos of good work/school ethics was passed on to me by my mother who yesterday spent 4 hours going 3 miles to work (she is 64) and I hope that I am instilling the same ethos into my children.

However, this year is different.  This year I have my own business www.halolifestyle.com.  This is the busiest week of my working year, with events to attend and client's orders that need processing in time for Christmas.  I am at the mercy of others - Framers, Labs and courier services.  Not to mention the fact that I need to do client viewings but don't have transport in order to do this.   My deadline for Christmas orders is the 10th December so I need this snow to get a move on, if it doesn't then it will cost my business approx £10k.   That's a LOT of money and a LOT of disappointed clients.  This weather could make or break my business which is at the critical stage of making a profit and paying a salary.

It really is sNOw joke.

Christmas Memories - Through the years....part 1

I have always loved Christmas.  It's a magical time of the year and has meant different things to me at different stages of my life...here are a few of my favourite...what are yours?

The red bike of 1979

It's 1979, I am 5 years old and very, very excited.  I have just started school and I can recall walking past the bike shop in the village and seeing a red raleigh "penny" bike.  It has a white leather saddle and silver spokes and a silver shiny bell.  I can't remember wanting for anything, but I really, really wanted that bike. I can remember feeling so upset when the bike was replaced with a boys bike.  I thought that was it, it had gone to a good girl who hadn't pulled her little cousin's pigtails or bitten her brother on the arm, so you can imagine my delight when on Christmas morning, there it was under the tree.  I loved that bike so much, it lasted until I was about 12 and I then gave it to my little Cousin whos pigtails I had pulled. 

What do you mean there is no such thing as Santa??? - 1986

I got a bright yellow Sony Walkman in 1986.  I was on the cusp of becoming a teenager and I can still remember the excitement of opening my present that year and thinking "Santa Rocks".  I spent the rest of the holiday walking around the house, listening to my music ("Now that's what I call music 13" no doubt) and I can recall looking really forward to getting on the bus and going back to school. 

The day dawned, I had my skirt rolled up, the walkman on show and my socks rolled down.  I put on my frosted pink lipstick and green eyeshadow and was epitomising the look of the 80s.  Oh yeah, I was so grown up.

I got on the bus, went upstairs to the back and sat just in front of the "cool kids".  I was always on the outside looking in, not quite getting the jokes and desperate to be one of "them". If I am being honest, I was trying to impress.  There was an older boy, let's call him Steven, he was gorgeous and everyone fancied him.  "Nice walkman" he said, "Who got you that?" .  I blushed and said "Santa, he is the best isn't he, he always knows what to get".  "Do you believe in Santa then?" he enquired.  "Of course I do".

I didn't live that one down for years.  They ripped it out of me for months, I still cringe now when I think how innocent I was.  Incidentally, I went out with Steven a few years later, he wasn't all that.

8 things I wish I knew.....The Laws of Parenting

This is a blog born out of sleep deprivation, which as any parent knows is something that happens frequently.  When I was pregnant with Beansy 7 years ago, I wish I knew the following 8 tips for surviving, forewarned is forearmed and all that....

1) Sleep
Who can remember pre-kids when you used to wallow in your bed at weekends reading the broadsheets, sipping coffee and watching Saturday Kitchen.  This will NOT happen for a long, long time (7 years and counting) even if you go away for the weekend, your body clock will naturally wake you up at 7am.  It's called Sods Law and is a frequent law of parenting.
2) Head Space
I can just about remember a time when I used to get bored, bored of doing everything and bored of doing nothing.  You won't even get the head space to just "be" once you have kids.  They will consume pretty much your every thought and try as you might to shake it away, it rarely happens.
3) Routine
I am the Queen of Routine.  Prior to having kids I was just going to "go with the flow" but trial and error shows that my kids and me need the boundaries of a routine.  They need to know that bedtime is 630pm the same way I need to know that 7pm is wine o'clock.
4) Spontaneity
"Oh darling, let's go to Paris this weekend" HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
5) Worrying
I was never, ever a worrier.  Now I worry.  About a lot of things.  Irrational things. Rational things.  Things I have no control over are the worst (and being a parent has let me see that I can be a bit of a control freak which in itself has freaked me out)
6) Relationship
Your relationship will change.  As you embark on the path of parenthood, it will become apparent that you really need to work at your relationship.  Especially when your children are so young, they quite rightly become the centre of both your lives and you find the focus moves from you as a couple, to you are parents.  You must make time and effort if your relationship is to flourish.
7) Protective Gene
If anyone *dares* say anything about your kids in the negative (family/close friends aside) you will fume internally.  Guaranteed.  Even if they are right and you know they are. (or maybe that is just me?!).  Equally, if another child hurts your child, you will rage.  Again internally because it really wouldn't be cricket to thump the little lout who has just slammed your precious child's fingers in a door intentionally or stamped on them during a rugby scrum.  IF you ever have the misfortune of having a child in hospital then this is the when the gene is at it's most powerful.  You will also feel helpless.
8)Love
Saving the best to last here...
You will be overcome with a love so strong, that it sometimes bowls you over.  You can quite literally feel the invisible strings that bind your heart to your children's.  They are the creation and being of you.  You love everything about them and always will, even though you sometimes might not like them or their behaviour, you will love them eternally.  They are the future and the future is as bright and shiny as a new penny.  It is a wonderful and splendid thing.  It is a life journey that will be tinged with success/failure/happiness/sorrow but once you have taken that first tentative step on the journey of parenthood, you won't be able, nor will you want to, step off.

Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens

Or so the song goes...This has been in my head all day since watching the sound of music at the weekend, and it led me to think, what are my favourite things?  This is going to be a frivolous, self-indulgent post, but I hope that you join in the spirit of this!

Here are my favourite things (in no particular order but as they appear in my head) or things that make me happy:

The smell of my utterly adorable kids when they first wake up, all sleepy and warm
Being snuggled up in bed reading a good book and listening to the sound of the rain on my attic window.
The smell of my Christmas cake baking (guess what I have been doing)
A crisp Autumn day with a slight chill in the air but with a warm sun
The smell of rain and freshly cut grass
The tradition of Christmas - I am sure every family has their own traditions, some of ours are putting new PJ's on the doorstep on Xmas Eve to wear that night, the kids coming in all excited, shouting "he's been, he's been" and the sitting on our bed to open their stockings,  Going to church en famille (usually about 20 of us, even those that don't bother the rest of the year make the effort) followed by champagne in the village pub.  The opening of tree presents - taking it in turns.
When my DH comes home from work with a bunch of flowers...just because.
Seeing my parents with my children - the bond is fantastic and makes me realise how lucky we all are
Sitting in a chuch just being with the sun streaming through a stained glass window
Watching my children sleeping, the little baby breaths and sighs make my heart melt
Eating chocolate mousse (nom nom)
When the kids cuddle you for no reason other than to say "I love you"
When all of the children are playing nicely and laughing at each other - I love seeing how their relationships are developing and growing with each other.
Going for a run in my favourite park on a cold day,beautifully crisp and clear with the mist rising of the lowland grass
Flying over London into Heathrow at night and seeing London lit up
Standing on the top of a mountain, getting ready to ski down and not quite knowing what to expect.
The hazy lazy summer days of just "being" in the garden, kids playing in the paddling pool, DH and I listening to the Ipod and watching the clouds and listening to the bees and talking nonsense
A clean house with the lingering smell of beeswax
The smell in the air that lingers after fireworks...

What things are special to you and tickle your fancy?

My wonderful little Pixie.....A tribute to my daughter

This time 2 years ago, I was nervous.  I had spent the day in the park with your brothers Beansy and Boo riding bikes and playing in the leaves, just in case anything went wrong with my elective CS that I was having the next day.   I wanted to have had the best possible day with my special little men.

The 30th arrived and Daddy and I set off to the hospital in preparation to deliver you.  The fact that I was pregnant at all was quite literally a miracle, as I had been told my chances of conceiving naturally were less than 2% due to PCOS, Thyroid issues and a cancer scare.

You came into the World screaming, and weighed 6lbs 14oz.  A wee little tidgy pud compared to your brothers who were 8lbs14oz and 10lbs 1oz respectively.  The minute you were in my arms, you looked at me with those big baby blue's and my heart melted.   Everyone was smitten with you and your brothers were very impressed that you had bought them lightsabers.

That first night, after Daddy and the boys went home, I sat up all night staring at the wonder of you.  Your little baby breaths and sighs tied an invisible bond from my heart to yours and I knew that our family was complete.

Since then, you have delighted us all with your quirky ways and your funny little strops and I smile to myself as I see how you have those lovely brothers of yours at your beck and call.   Daddy would move heaven and earth for you - the bond you have warms my heart to it's core.

You make me want to be a better woman, a good, strong role model, someone that you are proud to call your mum.  You mean so much to me, and as I watch you blossom from a baby to a chatty little toddler, It amuses me as I start to see myself in you.  I look forward to a lifetime of being your mother and we are truly blessed to have such a wonderful daughter.

Love you so much little Pixie xxxxxxxx

Why I now LOVE half term!!!!

A few years ago, I had 3 children under the age of 5.  Not one of my better planned ideas, but then our little Pixie wasn't planned and was a real blessing from God as we had been told I wouldn't have any more children due to my having an underactive thyroid and PCOS, the fact I had 2 gorgeous boys was an absolute blessing.  Around this time, I had a cancer scare and on being given the all clear, we decided to book a once in a lifetime holiday to celebrate life, love and family.  We went to the Maldives and had the most amazing time - the fact it had an excellent kids club meant that DH and I had a bit too much time on our hands, and well, little Pixie was conceived.

We were thrilled, she really is a blessing and a delight to all who meet her.  However, going back to my original point, having 3 so close in age can be really hard going at times.  Before the boys were at school, I used to dread half term - it meant that the routine I had so carefully planned (toddler group/activity lead) went to pot as these places closed for the holidays. (Summer was even worse, but that's another blog!)  So, I quite literally was run ragged for the duration  of the holiday, trying to keep all of them amused, dealing with petty scraps yada yada.

Then something changed - DS1 went to school full time, followed by DS2 the year after and I then realised that my little men were growing up.  Not only that, they were growing up fast and that this time next year all 3 of my little terrors will be at school.   Now I don't know about anyone else, but I really, really miss the boys when they are at school so now that the holidays are here I am looking forward to spending some quality time with my little men - we have lots of lovely things planned, most of them free and I can't wait to delight in the joy of all of my children.

So, to all of you parents who have pre school age children, I just want to say make the most of this special time, because before you know it, they will be at school and you will be wondering whatever happened to those special baby years.

Here's my little Superheroes in action

What happened to my drinking boots??

Many a moon ago, I used to work in TV advertising.  It was a career I fell into after telling the careers advisor I "wanted to be in TV".  This was at a time when the Dani Behr fronted programme "The Word" was the epitome of cool and I wanted Dani Behr's job.   They somehow wangled me an interview at a Pan-European TV sports station and despite not knowing how to turn a computer on, I managed to blag my way into the job.  It was quite simply, the best move I could have done.

Whilst my friends were getting largered up at Uni's across the Country, I was swanning business class across Europe and dining in London's finest restaurants on never ending expense accounts.  I had a good thing going, I was earning a decent salary doing a job I loved and it seemed to love me as I progressed up the career ladder like a ferret up a pair of trousers - quickly.

We became known as the IPG's and several of us would stay out drinking to 4am - champagne, cocktails, shots, you name it, we would drink it.  We would then crash at someone's pad and get up and go to work the next day on nothing but a bacon sarnie and a builders cup of tea, feeling slightly jaded but ready to go out again in a few hours time.  I quite literally lived on champagne and canapes for a decade.

Since having the kids I have had to become more focussed on nutrition which I have embraced and the girl who lived on canapes is now not bad in the kitchen - I LOVE cooking from scratch and am self taught.  As anyone with children knows, hangovers and kids are not a good combination and so, for the last 7 years, I have gotten to the stage where I rarely drink.  

We probably share a bottle of wine a few times a week and I am usually tucked up in bed by 11pm (oh so rock and roll).  The thing I have noticed though is my tolerance to alcphol is absolutely pants.  I quite literally have 1 glass of wine and it goes to my head.  3 and I am legless....so, what I want to know is, do we all lose our drinking boots as we get older???

Please vote for an ex IPG here!

What ever happened to MY weekends?!

Ok, this is going to sound incredibly selfish but what on earth happened to my weekends?  You know the sort, a long lazy lie-in with the one you love, followed by a jaunt through the more eclectic areas of London, stopping for a long, alcoholic, lazy lunch whilst poring over Time Out trying to decide what to do or who to see?

Then a nice supper in front of a roaring fire before having a long, luxurious bath and maybe popping out to the cinema.  Or deciding on a Friday morning to go away for the weekend and that hurried scramble to find somewhere (I always loved Bath)

I tell you what happened - The Kids came along!!

Now, don't get me wrong, I adore my kids, they have made me such a better person and I wouldn't change anything, but by heck what I wouldn't give to have a time travel machine to be able to go back and appreciate what I had before my weekends were spent watching football, driving around here there and everywhere, the whole "routine" of being a parent.  I guess what I am trying to say is, will I ever get that spontaneity back in my life???