Sleep is for the weak.......

Ok, hands up, I admit it.  I have been a "smug mum" these last seven years when it comes to children and sleep.  It wasn't always that way, as the first 12 weeks of Beansey's life was a sleep deprived nightmare, with a colicky, constantly breast feeding, bundle of cuteness and not the cosy, cuddly world of a newborn that the magazines lead you to believe (Ha, Ha).

I was struggling with the lack of routine and in desperation turned to "The Contented Baby" by Gina Ford which totally polarises parents but for me was an absolute sanity saver.  I realise that when you first read it, it comes across as very regimental, but out of desperation, we followed the feeding and sleeping parts of the routine and our lives were transformed.  

If you are not aware of the book, she advocates nonsense such as leaving a baby to cry it out, and putting them into their own room from birth which is something we couldn't do, but in terms of structuring feeding and sleeping it was magic and worked for us.  

Needless to say, I used the same method for Beau Bo and Pixie and know countless others that have followed our less rigid version with great success.   As a result of this routine, all of my kids have always been great sleepers.  They still go to bed at 7pm and sleep for 12 hours, they have all slept after lunch for 2 hours until the age of 3 and I get some much needed time out in the middle of the day!

However, since moving Pixie into a "big girl's bed" we have had nothing but problems (and no, we can't put the cot back up as passed it onto a friend).  At first,  she relished in the fact she had a B.G.B (Big girls Bed) but very quickly realised that she could leave her bedroom.  This is not good as we worry about her falling down stairs etc etc.  Our house is an old Victorian one and so we have irregular sized door frames, therefore a stair gate won't fit across her door. 

We have resorted to wedging the door with an old tea towel.  She still goes down like a dream at night, but from around 430am starts to wake up and we can't work out why!  She cries, loudly, then starts to wail "Mummy/Daddy bed, Mummy/Daddy bed".  We ignore and she changes her tactics by banging on the door.   Obviously we don't want her to wake the boys and so I then go into her.  She then says "Morning Mummy, downstairs".  This is her at 5:15am. Cute eh?!

This isn't a one off, this is every single night and I am at a loss as to what to do.  I have tried the following:

1) Cutting down her daytime nap - this doesn't work as she is up so early and needs this sleep.  If she doesn't have it, she is then wanting to go to bed at 5pm. 

2) Sleeping in her bed with her when she wakes up.  She has a cot bed.  I am 5ft 6inches and not a skinny minny.  This works for her, but not for me.

3) Ignoring her - she gets louder and louder, eventually waking the boys.

4) Bringing her into bed with us.  She then faffs about and doesn't sleep, wanting to go downstairs.

5) Putting her back into bed and trying the "sh, sh, sh" method.

HELP!!!!  Can anyone see where we are going wrong or is this just my punishment for being so smug about sleeping in the past?!

TWTWTW - Week 1, 2011

That Was The Week That Was......Week 1 2011

I have only been blogging for a very short while, but I absolutely love the process I am struggling to  blog!

I love meeting new people and was fortunate enough to attend the British Mummy Bloggers Christmas Lunch back in December.  This re-enforced the fact that the people I tweet with, and whose blogs I read, are all intelligent, professional, eloquent and above all, lovely people!  I really don't want to stop blogging, I just wish I had more time to do so.

I am not a writer (as you can probably tell!) but I do love the written word, I love to read other people's blogs and I like the idea that people are reading mine (is it an ego thing?) but sadly, due to having just set up my own business and raising my young family and all that entails, plus school, church/rugby committees, and a twitter addiction I am just not getting the opportunity to blog as much as I would like. 

Therefore, following on from my summary of 2010 That was the Year that was 2010 I have decided that every Sunday, I am going to blog a summary of my week.  Even if I don't get a chance to blog in between (and I will do my best to do so) I am going to guarantee that every Sunday you will see a summary of my week.   At least that way, when I get to the end of 2011, I'll be able to remember what 2011 gave me!! 

Week 1 2011

After 3 weeks of being at home, everyone went back to work/school.  As much as I love my family, I was so pleased as it meant normality ensued and I could get back into my routine.  I spent the whole day Tuesday taking down decorations and cleaning the house top to bottom.  I even washed and ironed the curtains! 

The highlight of the week was taking delivery of my new VW Sharan that I won in October of last year.  It was a long time coming due to the weather and I will do a separate post on this, but the difference it has made to us already has been phenomenal. 

Rugby was back on today after a long break due to the weather and the Christmas holidays and the weather was superb.  The kids had a fab time running around and we rounded of the weekend with a huge roast and a game of monopoly.   A great finish to a great week!

How was your week?  Anyone else fancy doing a summary?

8 things I wish I knew.....The Laws of Parenting

This is a blog born out of sleep deprivation, which as any parent knows is something that happens frequently.  When I was pregnant with Beansy 7 years ago, I wish I knew the following 8 tips for surviving, forewarned is forearmed and all that....

1) Sleep
Who can remember pre-kids when you used to wallow in your bed at weekends reading the broadsheets, sipping coffee and watching Saturday Kitchen.  This will NOT happen for a long, long time (7 years and counting) even if you go away for the weekend, your body clock will naturally wake you up at 7am.  It's called Sods Law and is a frequent law of parenting.
2) Head Space
I can just about remember a time when I used to get bored, bored of doing everything and bored of doing nothing.  You won't even get the head space to just "be" once you have kids.  They will consume pretty much your every thought and try as you might to shake it away, it rarely happens.
3) Routine
I am the Queen of Routine.  Prior to having kids I was just going to "go with the flow" but trial and error shows that my kids and me need the boundaries of a routine.  They need to know that bedtime is 630pm the same way I need to know that 7pm is wine o'clock.
4) Spontaneity
"Oh darling, let's go to Paris this weekend" HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
5) Worrying
I was never, ever a worrier.  Now I worry.  About a lot of things.  Irrational things. Rational things.  Things I have no control over are the worst (and being a parent has let me see that I can be a bit of a control freak which in itself has freaked me out)
6) Relationship
Your relationship will change.  As you embark on the path of parenthood, it will become apparent that you really need to work at your relationship.  Especially when your children are so young, they quite rightly become the centre of both your lives and you find the focus moves from you as a couple, to you are parents.  You must make time and effort if your relationship is to flourish.
7) Protective Gene
If anyone *dares* say anything about your kids in the negative (family/close friends aside) you will fume internally.  Guaranteed.  Even if they are right and you know they are. (or maybe that is just me?!).  Equally, if another child hurts your child, you will rage.  Again internally because it really wouldn't be cricket to thump the little lout who has just slammed your precious child's fingers in a door intentionally or stamped on them during a rugby scrum.  IF you ever have the misfortune of having a child in hospital then this is the when the gene is at it's most powerful.  You will also feel helpless.
8)Love
Saving the best to last here...
You will be overcome with a love so strong, that it sometimes bowls you over.  You can quite literally feel the invisible strings that bind your heart to your children's.  They are the creation and being of you.  You love everything about them and always will, even though you sometimes might not like them or their behaviour, you will love them eternally.  They are the future and the future is as bright and shiny as a new penny.  It is a wonderful and splendid thing.  It is a life journey that will be tinged with success/failure/happiness/sorrow but once you have taken that first tentative step on the journey of parenthood, you won't be able, nor will you want to, step off.

What ever happened to MY weekends?!

Ok, this is going to sound incredibly selfish but what on earth happened to my weekends?  You know the sort, a long lazy lie-in with the one you love, followed by a jaunt through the more eclectic areas of London, stopping for a long, alcoholic, lazy lunch whilst poring over Time Out trying to decide what to do or who to see?

Then a nice supper in front of a roaring fire before having a long, luxurious bath and maybe popping out to the cinema.  Or deciding on a Friday morning to go away for the weekend and that hurried scramble to find somewhere (I always loved Bath)

I tell you what happened - The Kids came along!!

Now, don't get me wrong, I adore my kids, they have made me such a better person and I wouldn't change anything, but by heck what I wouldn't give to have a time travel machine to be able to go back and appreciate what I had before my weekends were spent watching football, driving around here there and everywhere, the whole "routine" of being a parent.  I guess what I am trying to say is, will I ever get that spontaneity back in my life???